We know parents and carers need a lot of information about potential organisations.
The FAQ below should cover some of your questions, also do look at our consultation page, find out about the team here, consider our impact reports and why we do what we do.
And to contact us now – fill in the form. If you are ready to speak with Vicky and Christine to find out more, please book an appointment with us here.
How do people join?
In the first instance, we meet the potential new member for a chat. We welcome parents and carers at our initial meeting which is in person or on Zoom.
If you would like more information please email, text, call us or complete the contact form and we will contact you to tell you more.
We will arrange to talk to you on the phone,email, text or via Zoom when you and the potential member are ready. To book an appointment with Vicky and Chris please book here now.
How much does it cost?
Membership costs from £0 to £120 per year, and we charge an initial assessment fee of £0 to £10. Sometimes people pay all at once for the year, sometimes £10 a month by standing order. If the person you support has very little money, and we meet people who really don’t have much but are desperately lonely, we offer free membership.
Who can join Safe Soulmates?
Neurodivergent and disabled adults, women with anxiety (women are far less likely to have an official autism diagnosis) and adults with any health condition that makes finding friendships and relationships difficult. We are a Cambridgeshire-based organisation.
What happens if a member meets someone they like at a social?
Attending the socials is the best way to meet friends and potentially find romance (though we cannot guarantee romance). If a member meets someone they think they might like to get to know, then they can let the Safe Soulmates’ team know and, with their agreement, the team can ask the person if they would like to meet them for a Zoom friendship date or in person. These dates are chaperoned by Safe Soulmates.
Where the team knows the person is seeing someone else, the team will let the other member know, but it is always worth asking. If the person has a mutual desire to meet the member, the team will arrange for a chat. We always say that dates are a friendship date to start with, so members get to know more about each other.
Why should someone join Safe Soulmates?
If someone you know or care for is feeling lonely, isolated and in need of finding like-minded friends in a fun, social environment, then Safe Soulmates is the right place. We are also the only organisation in Cambridgeshire which supports a relationship to develop if there is a mutual romantic connection. Most couples who have met through us have done so because they have attended our social groups (in real life and currently mostly on Zoom).
What socials do you run?
In person, we meet in pubs, go bowling, visit restaurants, go for walks, meet for cinema outings, and host parties. We have also been to the beach, to gigs and to the theatre. We organise what people want us to and, once more confident, soulmates meet independently of us if they wish.
Our in person meet ups take place in Cambridge, Ely, Huntingdon and Peterborough.
We also run socials on Zoom, with Viv and Soulmates and volunteers hosting. On Zoom, socials include: Film Club, Women’s Hour, Men’s hour, Quiet chat & Viv’s ‘Huggle’ (an activity and chat).
We do not promise more than one social a month, but we do much more than that. Once you are a soulmate, you will receive our weekly schedule of online and in person social events.
How do members meet people if they are shy?
If a Soulmate feels that they are too shy to come to the Zoom socials, then we can:
- simply put their details on our database of people we know who wish to find a friend or romantic partner;
- or they can come to our socials on Zoom with their camera off and they can speak or not speak;
- or they can simply chat using the chat function – there is the option on Zoom to chat to everyone or to privately chat.
If a member is too shy to come to an in person social, then we can arrange a smaller group and arrange for people to chat on whatsapp, if that’s helpful. Christine and Vicky are always at in person socials, so there is always a friendly face.
Our strict rule is that if there is someone a member likes, then they let the Safe Soulmates staff know so we can see if this is mutual connection. If the feeling is mutual, then we can organise for them to meet one-to-one. It really does work better that way.
What if I have any concerns?
If you as a parent or carer have any concerns at all, please contact us, our team will be able to put your mind at rest. Nothing is ever that bad, but we have had to signpost Soulmates for extra mental health support at times. Vicky and Chris are in awe of parents and carers, we truly are.
Will members find a best friend or the love of their life?
People have found romance with us, but it has taken time and lots of getting to know each other. Some people have had one-to-one introductions and others have not because the right person has not yet joined.
Most romantic matches have happened because people have attended the meet ups; attending the meet ups helps us get to know people and also helps people to relax and be themselves.
We cannot guarantee romantic success, but we do our best to help you make those much needed friendship connections.
What if we want to leave Safe Soulmates?
There is no obligation to stay with us, we want everyone to be happy when they are with us and we do our very best to ensure everyone is. However, if a Soulmate meets another, they may feel like they don’t want to be involved with us anymore. This is absolutely OK, but we strongly advise people to stay, so we can support the relationship to grow, as well as help them build other friendships outside of the relationship.
How do we know everyone in Safe Soulmates is safe?
We have a rigourous application process: an initial meeting on Zoom or in person if that suits the person better, we then send forms to complete, and we ask for two character refrences and to see ID. All the Soulmates are truly lovely and one Soulmate described us as ‘one big family’. The safety and wellbeing of the Soulmates is top on our list of priorities.
Do parents/carers have the opportunity to meet other parent/carers?
Yes absolutely. We know that being a parent/carer can be an isolating experience at times, especially for single parents, so we are starting to run parent/carer meet ups, so you can exchange good news stories, ideas about next steps for the person you care for, as well as recommendations for supported living providers. You could even just have a chat and a laugh.
Have we ever had to ask a Soulmate to leave?
No absolutely not. We have welcomed Soulmates who have needed an extra bit of guidance and we are able to offer this with the help of the wonderful Dhiverse, who offer free one-to-one sessions to help people who need that extra bit of help with boundaries and online safety, for example. Vicky, Christine and Viv are also there to offer advice, we always do our best to help and if we can’t we will probably know someone who can. We are all different and we welcome difference wholeheartedly.